Do emotions have moral value?
Have you heard of good emotions and bad emotions? If an emotion feels positive and uplifting, it is good to keep; if it feels negative and down, it is terrible to get rid of, right?
I used to think like that. As someone who battled with anxiety and depression for years, I thought if I could "get rid" of those bad emotions, I'd be free from the torment.
However, studying human psychology taught me that emotions don't have moral values. They are neutral without biases. To speak more plainly, emotions are like traffic lights or signals. They simply exist to reflect what's going on with us on the inside, like a message deliverer or a mirror to show our physical, mental, and even spiritual state.
Why has this myth existed for so long, then? Thinking about it, I realize it's because of our reactions or, to use a professional term, our coping mechanisms.
Although emotions don't reflect moral values, our responses create positive or negative influences.
For example, the emotion of anger, often seen as negative but actually neutral, sends a message that we might feel unsafe, hurt, or violated. When it appears, we get to decide on how to respond. Some might yell, throw a tantrum, argue, and hold a grudge, or some could acknowledge what's going on, take deep breaths, leave the scene to clear their heads, and turn to God for a more effective and helpful solution. The emotion doesn't carry moral values, yet our responses create differences between positive and destructive. There's nothing wrong with experiencing or expressing anger, yet we need to be careful with how we respond to it.
In the Bible, the book of Ephesians says, "Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger." Even Biblical wisdom acknowledges the need to experience an emotion, yet it does issue a warning on how to respond to it.
That said, experiencing and acknowledging our emotions are vital for developing emotional awareness. What we need to pay attention to is not assign moral values to our feelings.
Labeling an emotion with moral value often creates an unhealthy relationship with our feelings. We are wired to want to choose the right and avoid the wrong. Seeing specific emotions as bad could rob us of the opportunity to experience them and learn healthy ways to respond. When we trace the causes of many tragedies in relationships, we can often spot the unprocessed, suppressed emotions. Usually, it's because we try not to feel the feeling of bad emotions, and then we run away from experiencing them, which eventually leads to unwanted explosions that sabotage ourselves and our relationships. However, when we give ourselves space and time to process and learn healthy ways of expressing and regulating our emotions, we won't be forced into reacting out of compulsion.
What are some of the emotions you experience today or recently?
Did you attempt to label them with moral values? Are you aware of their existences and why?
Do you know how to process and regulate? What are some of the struggles you have when you try to get in touch with your emotions?
If you want to explore this topic further, schedule a Process Session with me.
